Confused by the Seasons? Buy these shoes!

Is it a boot?  A pump?  A peep toe?  I don’t know, but I’ll tell you this.  It’s either cool enough for boots or hot enough for a peep toe.  In the South, it ain’t ever both at the same time, and if I ever see you wearing these ugly ass shoes in the Dirty Dirty, I’ll rip one off your foot and beat you with it.